RETIRED: Hello Cruel World
by TheIncredibleDancingBetty
Summary: RETIRED! In the process of being rewritten. Keeping this up to keep the reviews, which are great inspiration even if they're old LOL. Original story can still be seen on Stealthy Stories. If this story is on your favorites, look for the updated version which will be under the same title. Thanks for your support!


Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT

A/N: Hello everybody! This is my second Raph POV but my first amnesia thing. Has anyone but Leo had amnesia or any other mental disorder for that matter? Well, at least not with the frequency as with Leo. Why is he always getting picked on? Let's pick on Raph, eh? As per the usual I will write the first couple of chapters, and judging on the responses will decide whether or not to continue or boot it. I have this one nearly planned to the end in my head so I think it will probably be the first one either way but you must make room for my pessimistic attitude. I don't know all the details concerning other countries at the moment and once again my research is somehow coming up with conflicting information so bear with me. If you see anything that is inaccurate, please let me know. I want this to be as realistic as possible, considering some of the subject matter. Oh, one more thing. Please, limit complaints on cursing. I don't use profanity by nature, as you see in my other stories. But when you're writing in Raph's POV...well, he seems to be the type who'd be loose with is tongue. Or his thoughts at the very least. Don't worry, I censor them slightly so their not as ooky.Well, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 1

Waking Up

I slowly drifted in and out of consciousness before fully becoming awake. I felt numb, somehow. Everywhere. Why would I feel numb? Yet at the same time, hot in a way as well. Numb and hot? Why was I numb? I was cold, that's why. Wait, cold and hot? Somehow this makes no sense. I try to move. My limbs feel like lead. I try anyway. It's about then that I realize something else: I hurt. A lot.

I stiffle a cry and slowly turn my head into the snow, muffling the sound that escaped. Wait, the snow?

It was then that I opened my eyes. They seemed to resist my attempts, having the same leaden heaviness as my body. But somehow I get them to obey. My head, too is extroadinarily heavy. I struggle to lift it up and manage to prop it up on my chin to look around.

I see trees.Big trees. A lot of trees.Trees so thick, I can't see anything else but the trunks of more trees. Stars twinkle in the night sky behind them. Light, bright, orange light. It's reflecting off the tree trunks, moving, dancing. What is that light? Is there someone behind me? Is that how they move? How does it move like that?

Once again I try to move my limbs. They cooperate more this time. I realize that part of the problem is that I can't feel my fingers, or my toes. Or most of my hands and feet for that matter. How long was I out here? I slowly, agonizingly pull myself into a sitting position and try to massage my palms. My fingers don't want tocooperate. I can't even tell what they're doing or what I'm touching unless I look down to see.No wonder I'm cold. I'm not wearing anything. I'm lying in the snow wearing nothing but a belt and a bandana. What's wrong with me?

My mind is fuzzy. Very fuzzy. And cloudy. Is that the same thing or different?

The dancing lights against the tree trunks attract my attention again. Oh, yes. That's why I got up. I half-drag, half move myself over until I'm completely turned around. My legs still aren't cooperating much either. Neither are my arms. I realize that I can't feel as much as I originally thought. I can't feel a lot of it.My previous question resurfaces. How long have I been here?

I made it. There's no one else here, only fire. I look at the flames. Dancing tongues of flame. So that's what made the light move. They are engulfing a large craft. Squinting my eyes, I look at it closer. Something big, big as a whale big.An airplane? Yes, that's it.That's one hell of an airplane, it's friggin huge. Like a jetliner or something. Something that hundreds of people sit on. I can't see any more details about it, it is nearly eaten alive by flames. Both wings have already snapped like fragile twigs and are lying on the groundwith nothing showing but the brittle bones of it. Most of the body is either stripped of it's metal skin, revealing the shining steel ribs or is too covered with flame for me to make out.

Then I realize that this isn't all of the plane. It's only the front part. Where's the rest? Without moving from my search I look around. Behind the plane is an open field. In fact, it's a big field, and I'm in it. I'm only about ten feet from the lines of woods, but past the field the woods are everywhere and thick. Real thick. It's there I see the tail. About two or three football field lengthsdown the field. The three things poking out at the end are all collapsed on the ground, making more flame. I can hardly make out the toothpick-like skeleton.

It was then that I notice that there is more plane broken off, all around me. Debris varying from the size of a quarter to a hot tub are lying scattered all around me. All over the feild. There's some thin trails of smoke rising from spots in the forest. Did it make it there too?

Then the tingling hit. The hot, stinging tingle all over me. My arms, my legs, my muscles burn and itch at the same time. What's happening? I look at the snow around me, as though it will reveal some sort of answer. But all I find is blood. Blood? Is that my blood? Slowly I look over myself. I'm kinda cut up all over, but it's not too bad. I look at the snow again. My shape is perfectly imprinted in the soft white surface. Man. There sure is a lot of blood there. A whole frozen pool of it. What was there?

I realize it was my head. My head was there. Slowly I bring up my heavy leaden hand and feel my head. But I can't feel anything, my fingers are numb. I think that my head is numb too, not sure. I'm starting to get cold. A shiver racks through me. Damn this tingling!

Heat. I need heat. Fire has heat. Duh. I'll use the fire.

I look around. The plane is pretty far away, or at least by my standards. It's a whole fifty to a hundred feet. I still can't get my legs to move like I want them to so I look for a closer source. About five yards from me is some burning debris. I can't make out what it was, maybe chairs or boxes or something. But it's big enough to keep an orgy of beerdrinkers happy so I guess it's good enough for me. Slowly, I drag myself through the snow towards it.

How did I get here? I was probably on the plane. So it crashed? Am I the only person alive? Where am I? Where was I? Where did this plane start out? Why was I on it? These questions plague my mind, but I don't know how to answer them. My mind is so cloudy.

Why wasn't I wearing anything? Somehow I felt I should, though I had the distinct feeling that wearing clothing was uncomfortable for me. Not sure why exactly. Because of me? Hmmm...

I reach the debris and warm myself against the flames. I accidently get to close and burn my finger. I can feel that, though it feels like a dull ache. I know it should be sharper. I look at it smoke for a brief second before Istick my finger in the snow.

The smoke stinks. The flames stink. It smells like a mixture of gasoline and bad hamburger. Funny combination. Smells bad though. Why does it smell like that?

The feeling starts to come back quicker than I thought. Then again, how long was I warming myself against the fire? Not to sure. One minute? One hour? Damn, why can't I think!

The pins and needles tingling is now everywhere. Apparently my hands and feet enjoyed being numb and are protesting the feeling coming back with an immense, throbbing pain. It is an awful pain, one coming from the inside. I squint my eyes shut and grit my teeth so hard I'm surprised they don't crack. I looke at the offending limbs. They are still the same size. But they feel ten times that!

Without warning a ribbon of profanity runs from my mouth. In fury and frustration I heave myself shakily to my feet (at least my legs are cooperating somewhat now) and stomp. I stomp my feet in the snow, thrash my hands in the air and growl out the words through gritted teeth. I probably look like a tribal dancer but I don't give a shit. This crap _hurts!_

I plop myself hard in the snow and glare at my hands. I'm tempted to just stick them in the fire but wiser forces tell me that's not such a good idea. Huh. Those wiser forces can suck my-

A noise attracts my attention. I whip my head around tosee what it isand immediately regret it. Suddenly my world is spinning with such a ferocity that I feel my stomach churn, threatening to expell my last meal. With shaking hands I grab my head, as though I can steady the spinning world by this simple act alone. The world continues to pass in a radical blur, but is it slowing down?It seems to help anyway.

Wait. My fingers move around. My head. My fingers scan my head, gentle and probing despite the remnants of pain still throbbing through the tissues. They touch an area on my head and immediately my hand flinches back from the sudden intense pain of it. I look at my fingers. There's some blood and some other kind of clear fluid. My head is now constantly throbbing so hard I'm surprised my head isn't swaying with it. Frustrated, I look towards the sky. Why does everything have to be about pain right now!

With my other hand I gently feel the area around on my head. It's swollen and tender. Judging by how it feels, I must have a hefty knot on my noggin.

Then it hits me. My? Me? I...who am I? I concentrate hard, trying to remember something. Anything. My mind draws a blank. I can't even think of a simple name. I feel the bandana encircling my head, it's red. The belt around my waist has two weapons they look like hand held pitchforks. I pick them up. They feel so _right_ in my hands. Like they're an extension of my arm itself. Sai. That's what they're called. Sai.

I flip one in the air and automatically my other hand reaches out and deftly catches it. I wasn't even aware I was doing that. Why would I have these? Maybe I'm some sort of fighter. An assassin? No, that doesn't feel right. Maybe just a hobbyist.

There's also a little machine on my belt. It looks like the shell of a turtle. Well I know that, that I'm a turtle. I know that I'm not supposed to be seen by humans. It's almost like this lesson had been drilled into me since infancy or something. Why is it so important that I not be seen? Because I'm different. Too different. That's right, I think.

The device suddenly makes a whirring noise. In surprise I drop it in the snow. Curiously I look at it. As I bend down to pick it up it sparks a little bit. What is this for? I heft the thing in my hand. Did I make this? Somehow I have a feeling I didn't. Who did then? Maybe I bought it...

Then it suddenly opens into smething else. There are buttons and a small screen ths screen is cracked and there's stuff sticking out of it. I look at the buttons. Then it hits me. A phone! I push one of the buttons, having no idea what I'm really doing. It complains loudly and vibrates a little. I drop it for a second time. With a tiny puff of smoke, it dies in front of me. I glare at the thing. I'm in the middle of nowhere, have no idea who I am, where I am or how I got here and my one chance to contact others dies right in front of me. Great! Just great! The ole' turtle luck working true to form.

I snicker at that. Somehow it sounds so _right_.

I hear the noise again, though much closer this time. My muscles tense. Although they complain from their stiffness and cold, they obey. How long has that noise been going on? Have I been so preoccupied that I missed some of it?

Wisely learning a lesson from the last time, I slowly turn around. I see nothing but trees. Stupid trees. Purposely blocking my view. The noise comes again. It sounds like someone stepping ona twig or something, perhaps brushing by the leaves. What is it?

Then the sound comes from behind me. I turn around. On the other side of the bonfire, a man is standing there, glaring at me. My first instinct is to run and hide, but I know that if I stand or move to quickly my spinning head will send me reeling to the ground again. There's no point to that. I try to smile and wave my hand. "H-hello."

His eyes narrow and then he answers by bringing a semi-automatic military rifle to his shoulder. The barrel is pointed at me and his finger moves over the trigger.

Aw shit.

The noise comes again from behind me, but I don't dare take my eyes off the man pointing the gun at me. I know what the ones behind me are anyway. Hoarse shouts ring out in the air. Shit it sounds like a lot of them. I can't recognize the language. I hear the click, lots of them. You know what I'm talking about. The cock going up, the weapons coming at ready. I've heard them lots of times in movies, I think.

More men come into my line of vision, all of them carrying the same type of wicked looking rifle. I can see now that they are dressed in some sort of camoflauge uniform. Some type of beret cap or something adorns their heads. Their skin looks dark, then again it's night what do I know? They all have identical gloves and high lace boots. Grenades, communication devices, and knives big enough to castrate an elephant hang from their belts. These are military men.

What did I do to deserve this?

I move my arm and immediately all the men swerve towards me and tighten their fingers on the trigger simotaneously, like a sick kind of ballet. I freeze. No use if I'm swiss cheese. They start speaking to each other hoarsly in that language, all without taking their eyes off of me. I look from one to the other without moving my head. Damn I wish I know what they are saying. Especially since I know that my fate and livelihood is being discussed here.

Apparently they came to an agreement. The one that I could only guess to be the leader nods. One of the soldiers to my right moves towards my. Instinctively I turn my head towards him...

Just in time to see him bring the butt of his rifle colliding with my skull. A brief flash of pain and everything goes black.

* * *

A/N: Alright first chapter? Hope so, I must say that I'm kinda pleased with it. As I said before this is my first time playing the whole 'mental game' thing here. Military involvment just makes it all the more juicier, dontcha think? Well, since this is obviously in the early stages, we all know how ideas can change. As long as it's for the better, I welcome them with open arms. I highly encourage in your reviews to put in predictions, ideas, of course what you think and whatnot. I don't mind long reviews, in fact I love them so don't fear that! 

If you Read it, Review it! Toodles!


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